Blessed is the man
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
but his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night. (Psalm 1:1–2 ESV)
Charles H. Spurgeon said, “It is the Psalmist’s desire to teach us the way of blessedness and to warn us of the sure destruction of sinners.”
While reflecting on Psalm 1, my late brother-in-law, Carl, came to mind because he personified this passage. Carl was a joyful follower of Jesus who pursued an ever-deepening understanding of Scripture, enriching the lives of many by living out the teachings of Christ in his everyday way of being.
Some of the best counsel I have ever received was from Carl about twenty years ago. We were riding in a golf cart together, talking about parenting, when he said to me, “Meg, I have made a decision that whoever my kids love, that’s who I am going to love, and whoever is important to my kids, that’s who is going to be important to me.”
Making our way around the golf course, Carl expounded on Christ’s heart for unity, cautioning me to avoid the pitfall of bringing division into my home. As a young mom whose kids were approaching their teen years at the time, I had a sense his gentle warning was gold.
Most of us can probably recall (or are now having) intense “conversations” with our parents or our children about the influence of certain friends and relationships. And, sometimes, discussions about hard things are necessary.
However, the posture of one’s heart is what matters most. If we are learning and delighting in the way of Jesus, regardless of behaviors or perceptions or preferences, I can make a decision to love someone my kids love. I can decide to try to see what my kids see in someone. I can decide to welcome someone into my home. And, if needed, I can decide to relationally navigate my concerns with my kids.
Many of us wouldn’t have to think very long or hard to come up with the name of a person we know who has an estranged relationship with a family member over someone who doesn’t meet someone else’s preferences or expectations. Certainly, there are times when extreme circumstances require boundaries, but boundaries can be set with love.
Carl went home to be with Jesus last year, and our family – the family he loved well – won’t be the same without him. The words he offered to me when I was a young mom continue to be a guiding invitation for me to lovingly live out the teachings of Christ and choose unity over division.
Meg Kempton serves in the Marriage Ministry at Grace Church in Detroit, Michigan.
