A few days later Mary hurried to the hill country of Judea, to the town where Zechariah lived. She entered the house and greeted Elizabeth. At the sound of Mary’s greeting, Elizabeth’s child leaped within her, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit.
Elizabeth gave a glad cry and exclaimed to Mary, “God has blessed you above all women, and your child is blessed. Why am I so honored, that the mother of my Lord should visit me? When I heard your greeting, the baby in my womb jumped for joy. You are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what he said.” (Luke 1:39–45 NLT)
A friend of Philip Yancey’s once described to him the difference between a church service and an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting: when showing up late to a church service, people would flash frowns of disapproval at the apparent lack of concern for arriving on time; when showing up late to AA, the meeting would stop, right then, so everyone could welcome their friend with hugs and smiles. As Yancey’s friend said, “They realize that my lateness may be a sign that I almost didn’t make it. When I show up, it proves that my desperate need for them won out over my desperate need for alcohol.”
We are so often afraid that when people discover our flaws they will grow to hate us for our imperfections, but more often than not, our honesty frees others to be honest as well. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable with others, it’s not unusual to hear something like:
“I didn’t realize I wasn’t the only one who struggled in that way!”
“I’ve had a similar story for a couple years now. Can I share a few things I’ve found to be helpful?”
“Thank you for sharing; you don’t have to work through this on your own any longer.”
When Mary left for the hill country of Judea to visit her relative Elizabeth, she had just learned of the news that she was chosen by God to birth his Son, that growing within her was the Messiah, prophesied to save the world. Maybe Mary had been planning to keep quiet until Elizabeth outed her. However, it seems to me, due to the timing of her visit, that Mary was coming to her relative for more than just a few months away from her hometown; I suspect she wanted to talk to someone about everything she was going through and Elizabeth was the one she chose.
Regardless of Mary’s intent, once Elizabeth knew the truth, Mary could freely open up. I can only imagine the next three months were full of wonderings, worry, and worship shared by two women who were both carrying miracle babies.
When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable among our closest friends – when we can truly be ourselves, without wearing any of the masks that allow us to hide in safety – the honesty that results can act as a balm for our souls, allowing God to heal hidden wounds, strengthen weakened muscles, and move us closer to being the person he always intended us to be. As Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.”
When was the last time you displayed this kind of vulnerability to your closest friends? Have you fostered the kind of friendships that free others to be honest with you about their struggles?
Michael Benson is the communications director for the North American Baptist Conference.